Squirrels!

07/12/18

hyperactive squirrels runnin’ ‘round my brain 
causing no pain but derailing that train
of thought
that elusive linearity that’s really a formality
demanded by this reality and polite conversation
I ought
to focus more on what I’m doing and who I’m talking to
wait what was I doing and what did they just say to me?
the squirrels scatter
Think of something quick – I’ll ask a question!
Always ask a question to buy yourself some time, for time is cheap
when you cram so much into every second, and your words are 
weapons,
to fight back against distractions and negligence
and I’m back on track! 
I’m now present. 
devoting every bit of my attention to the question
by wrestlin’ cognitive control, lettin’ my thoughts come and go,
like a meditation pro, and it’s just me and the other person.
the only two people in the universe 
I look into their eyes to let them know I’m there
(which is fair, cause I really DO care!)
And there’s nowhere I’d rather be. 
And I blink
blinking breaks the eye contact and in that millisecond 
I wander
just slightly, to the feeling of skin healing down yonder
that’s what I get for frying bacon naked
I wonder did she ever fake it?
why do I fall in love with every person that I meet?
why bother falling in love when I can fall asleep!
is everything that’s in front of me really all there is to see?
Am I finally the person that I want to be?
I’m now drifting freely through memories and possibilities 
and scurrying up the bark of a large oak tree
and I know I nearly have enough acorns to last me the winter
and SQUIRRELS! Ye feckers! 
Be gone! 
I will be strong I will stay focused on…on…
…ah shite I’ve been away again for far too long 
how are your powers so potent?!
you adorable fluffy-tailed coked-out rodents
robbing me of my sincerity 
Will you not just let me be
present?

This repeats in my life, over and over
and if you think this is bad… well…
that’s me when I’m sober